This might be too much information but I’m too happy to care. Also, I refuse to shy away from conversations that are about what women go through on a regular basis. Get to know us folks, is what I say.
Anyway, I just came back from a trans-vaginal ultrasound. I have a cyst in my left ovary and we just need to keep an eye on it from time to time. Usually, the exam is extremely uncomfortable. I have to undergo a regular external ultrasound first and that means drinking 4 glasses of water an hour before my appointment and then suffering through a heavy handed technician. For someone like me who navigates IBS, it’s an issue, I’ll just say that. And then, I get to experience the internal scope ... I usually get extremely inappropriate because I’m nervous about the intensity of the exam. Yes, I’m that patient who bombards the poor technician with terrible commentary that only someone like me can get away with ...
But today was different. Firstly, the technician had a lighter touch. Which made me think, why have others been so rough? But most striking was this technician’s offer that I insert the probe myself. Initially, I looked at her with incredible confusion. What ... what do you mean? Like, I ... I insert this medical equipment into me? Myself? A fear of ... will I know what to do? (Seriously, I had this thought, as ludicrous as it seems, especially if any of you have ever seen the inside of my bedside table drawer).
The most miraculous thing happened once I inserted this scope in me. I felt like I had agency over my body. That I decided to be in direct relationship with this medical procedure. I felt so blown away by this that the rest of the internal investigation (which the technician did) went incredibly smoothly. No tension, no discomfort. At all! At all at all at all. Folks, I once fainted from the discomfort. I have such gratitude for this moment.
I’ve had a lot of medical procedures done these past few years. But I have never felt more respected and honoured than I felt this afternoon.
And I just wanted to share that with you all.
Because anytime a woman feels that much more agency, anytime she is in direct relationship with anything that concerns her body, it should be celebrated and shouted from the rooftops. Prudes, be damned.